Yes, I’m still around. Yet 2022 is proving to be difficult, different, tiring.
As we enter our third year of COVID-19, I can feel the exhaustion seeping into my bones and I can see anger and frustration on the faces of complete strangers as they pass by me. From my point of view, I believe a majority of people wanted to do the right thing and did. But now, as the weeks turn into years, people are starting to get irritated by the rules and the separation from their family and friends.
Honestly, my husband and I have lived a quiet, isolated life during this time. We shop online, we walk in a reserve where there are few people, our family gatherings (if they can be called that) are done by video calls or, on the odd occasion, meeting in an isolated place for a quick walk and chat. I feel as if I’m withdrawing from life and as I grow older, that frustrates me and scares me at the same time.
During all these months of being at home, not seeing people, or going places, you would think I would be writing like crazy and reading every book in sight. But… that is NOT the case! I can’t explain why, except to say that I feel unmotivated to do most things right now.
There is no light at the end of the tunnel. And this is the main problem for me. I can’t tell myself it’s only for a few more months, it’s only to the end of this year, it’s only until…?
In the future, will I be writing a post stating “we are entering our tenth year of COVID-19”? I hope not. I truly do. But it’s a possibility.
Anyway, I’ve decided that for now I will not accept any more books for review. I still have a couple and I feel torrents of guilt over the length of time it has taken me to read them so far. To those authors, I am truly sorry, my lack of motivation has nothing to do with your words, your characters, your stories. It is simply the world has been turned upside down and I’m struggling to find my place in it. I will read the books and I will write the reviews as promised. I assure you.
Having said that, I will accept audiobooks for review. On week days, I spend at least 20 minutes on the treadmill each day, and listen to audiobooks while I exercise. So, if you have an audio version of your book, then you are welcome to contact me. I have discovered that I will listen to genres that I listed as not acceptable on my book review page, i.e. thrillers, suspense, crime. Books I can’t read, I enjoy listening to.
I will update the book review page shortly.
As for writing, I make no promises. My latest project swirls in my mind often. I want to return to that world and complete what I started. I know exactly what needs to happen, so my lack of motivation has nothing to do with writer’s block.
Same goes for working on my family tree. Here’s something else that I’ve invested many, many hours (three decades) into, and just turned away from altogether. I have leads that I have ignored. People send me documents that I cannot make myself investigate.
This has to stop! I must start living life again … and soon. I don’t want to write that post in 10 years time saying I’ve wasted a decade of my life due to COVID-19. No, that cannot happen and steps must be taken now.
From 1 March, I believe we (in Australia) will put masks and QR codes aside and return to the office, and start living life around COVID. It’s a scary thought, and I know we will not return to how it used to be. But what the new normal will be like is uncertain, and I guess that’s part of my issue.