Back in March of this year I wrote a post called A Stroke in Life where I said I had had a stroke at the beginning of the year and was put on injections to try and stop me having another stroke. I had the understanding it would be six weeks before my body started getting used to the affects of the injection.
Boy, was I wrong!
It was six months. Six months of hell, I might add. 2012 has been a year best forgotten. And believe me, if it wasn’t for the fact that I felt lousy the entire time I would be able to forget because I’ve done virtually nothing worth remembering. I’ve had little to no social life. I’ve done no writing. I’ve barely had the strength to go outside, let alone walk around shops or parks or any other place of interest.
But I didn’t start this post to complain. I started this post to tell you that despite how horrid the year has been, I am finally starting to feel much better. I’ve actually been putting my hair up and I’ve been using nail polish and I’ve been buying new clothes. These are such small things, but I feel as if I’m living again and that alone makes me want to smile more.
Talking of smiling, the people I know in ‘real’ life have actually been saying to me, “you look different”, meaning I’m smiling. They are happy to see it. I’m happy to do it.
In the last four weeks I’ve caught up on all my paperwork. I’ve done all the housework. I’ve visited all my friends and family. I’ve also been on a wonderful holiday. Life is good.
The last hurdle I had to approach was restarting my course. The last unit I submitted I received a ‘fail’. I was devastated when I saw it. All the previous assignments I had obtained a distinction or high distinction so to suddenly get a fail was not good. That one simple word made the hurdle much harder to approach, but I was mature enough to acknowledge that I did have a stroke shortly before submitting the unit and, luckily for me, the tutor (who didn’t know about the stroke) obviously realised something was out of the ordinary and she gave me the opportunity to resubmit the unit. I also knew that I wanted to finish the course and obtain the diploma I’ve worked hard for. It was difficult, but I had to force myself to face this hurdle. I spent two whole days redoing the unit and I posted it just over a week ago. I haven’t received a result as yet, but I am confident that the ‘fail’ will disappear and be replaced with a better mark. And I am studying the next unit and getting myself ready to start the assignment on Monday. So I can officially say that all hurdles have been faced and conquered.
Picking up the pieces of your life is not always easy. And sometimes, even with love and support, it really is down to you to take the first steps. Often, those steps in life seem extremely difficult but once you take them you look back and think “that was nowhere near as hard as I imagined it would be”.
And right now, that’s exactly how I feel. I’m over the hurdles, the sun is shining in my face and the great unknown is ahead of me. Did I mention, life is good?!
Edited on 15 November 2012: I received the revised assignment back today and I passed with flying colours! I am so relieved. 🙂