A Quiet Mind

I spent some time visiting some of my writer friends tonight. I read their posts with interest, but I didn’t leave any comments. I’m not entirely sure why, but I think I feel that I don’t really have the right. It sounds stupid…because it is stupid. I know that. But that’s the way I feel.

After my “visits”, I sat back and pondered how I felt. The only word that fits is “sad”. I feel sad that I’m moving away from these people. They are people I’ve known for some time now and they are people I’ve shared much of myself with. I feel sad that I don’t feel the need to write anymore. I also feel sad because I don’t even feel like reading anymore. What’s going on with me, I wonder?

Last week, I spend a bit of time one afternoon working on my non-fiction manuscript. I only wrote a couple of pages and I was quite focused at the time, but as soon as I turned away from it, the urge to do more left me completely. It doesn’t feel important to continue with it any longer. Just like my other projects no longer mean much to me. Even the family tree is sitting untouched.

I think it’s important not to let my analytic mind get too worked up over all this. I’m going to let things go and allow myself to do whatever I feel like doing (which, admittedly, isn’t much right now). All I can really say is that apart from the sadness, my mind is peaceful and that’s something I think I really needed.

5 thoughts on “A Quiet Mind”

  1. My only advice would be to do what feels right (write?) and don’t push yourself. I think you’ve got something important here, and you’ll only spoil it by burning yourself out or giving less than 100 percent because you just felt you had to finish it right now.

    As for the no more fantasy writing (or no writing at all)…well, some people aren’t cut out for certain things. I don’t handle reality very well myself. I don’t know how many times I’ve stood in awe of a wonderful piece of art or photography wondering why I can’t draw or take more than average photos when the artist says something like “I wish I could write.”

    We’ve all got our talents and our drives. Sometimes they change. I used to do a lot of pencil drawing. Now I have no desire or talent to try it at all.

    Take care of yourself. 🙂

  2. Karen, enjoy doing nothing and don’t analyse it at all. Just make yourself one promise: In six months, you’ll stop and take another look at everything you have done and everything you’ve left behind and see how you feel about it again then.

    Then you have six months to let yourself relax and enjoy the peace and quiet. Don’t worry about it. You can have a little worry about it again in six months and by then you’re bound to have a whole new perspective.

  3. Karen, I think you should just give yourself a break. Just *be* for a while and don’t feel you should be fitting into particular categories. I agree with Alan, “Don’t analyse”. Whatever happens, you will get onto the right path.

  4. Karen, you have had so much to deal with in the past couple of years and you have plowed on with many things so diligently–it may be that you simply need a rest. If you are content and peaceful, then I would say just accept that and don’t feel the need to make any big decisions. Like I said, “never say never”! Do things that make you happy for right now.

    That said, I want to say that I don’t know how you would characterize yourself in the time you wrote “Cat’s Eyes”–but it was wonderful writing and a wonderful story. Was this at a time when you felt the “passion” or not? I don’t know. But I do think you have a talent, whether or not you feel that way right now. If we use our talents in ways that bring us joy, I think that’s the best use of them. It’s up to you to decide what that is for you.

    And all of THAT said, we miss you! You know you have a lot of writing insight to offer others, even if you aren’t writing yourself. There’s value in that, too, don’t forget.



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