After much thought I’ve made my decision as to which manuscript will get my attention first.

If you look at the list, you might think it would be fitting to finish the Cat’s Series as two books are already completed, leaving only the third book to be written. This would seem like the natural course to take, but I’ve decided against it as the second and third book cannot be published without the first book being successful (the first book is written as a stand alone, whereas the other two books are definite sequels and must be read in order). Due to this I feel it would be better time management to put my efforts into submitting Cat’s Eyes (book 1) to publishers instead, which is what I will do. I will keep you updated on my progress.

The Kingdom of Marlinor trilogy is a favourite of mine. In the past I’ve rushed the planning and have been sorry afterwards. This time, I intend to do it properly. All three books! Completely! As I mentioned in a previous post, I have already started researching important issues for the trilogy and this will continue until I am satisfied with the information I have. I will then use the Snowflake method to produce a proper plan.

Planning isn’t actually writing though and I feel I should be getting words on paper (or on the computer screen) while I feel in the mood because who knows when the mood will disappear?!? With this in mind, I’ve decided to plan one story and write another.

The manuscript that has been given the number one slot is Mirror Image. With only approximately 10,000 words to write, I feel this isn’t a huge hurdle to face at this early stage and, besides, I want to see the first draft finished, so this is the story I’ll revisit. Upon its completion, I will decide what to do next.

However, I’ve said only one manuscript is the “winner”, but in actual fact three manuscripts are winners. Cat’s Eyes will gain my serious attention for submitting. That has to be a good move. Kingdom of Marlinor will finally be planned the way it should have been years ago. That’s definitely a positive step. And the first draft of Mirror Image will finally be finished. It will feel great to cross it off my “unfinished projects” list.

Yesterday, I listed fourteen novel length manuscripts that I have at various stages. Fourteen! When added together, that is some word count! Not to mention all the edits and rewrites.

I guess I can safely say the ideas are there. Some of the manuscripts were started many, many years ago and have not progressed in any way since they were put aside. Some of the manuscripts probably never will be improved upon and I’m fully aware which ones they are. But this isn’t about what I did wrong in the past. This is my honest look at what I have and where I want to go in the future.

I printed out the list and studied it. Then I asked myself a couple of questions: Which of these manuscripts (if any) “do something” for me? Which ones do I want to continue with?

My answer:

Kingdom of Marlinor Trilogy

The first book – Whispering Caves – has been written, rewritten and rewritten again. In fact, I think I’m up to version 8. The original manuscript was written in the late 1990’s. I love the characters and the setting. I love the story. However, as I grew as a writer, I could see the problem areas and I believe my attempts to fix them actually ruined the basics of the story. This is called over editing. I didn’t know when to stop.

The second and third books are (very) vaguely planned, but after the last rewrite of Whispering Caves I had an idea that could tie the three stories together. If I use this idea, it would mean I would have to replan and then rewrite from the beginning. I’m not talking about a severe edit, I mean open a blank screen and write the whole thing from the start. I am willing, and I want, to do that. Actually, I have already set the planning of this trilogy into motion.

People of Miu Series

As these manuscripts were originally written in the last three to four years, this series is my most recent work and that is reflected in the quality of writing. Hence, less revisions required. The first two books are ready for submission and I know how book 3 must end, but I’m having trouble planning the rest of the story. That “trouble” might have been me not being able to focus. I think I can overcome that problem now and I want to finish this series. I enjoyed writing it and have had a lot of input from other writers to get the manuscripts to submission stage.

Isle of Cottie

This manuscript is romance with a fantasy setting and has two parts to it. A bit like before and after scenarios. The “before” section is 100% complete. I will probably have to give it another read through just to be sure it’s just right, but I know I wouldn’t have to spend a lot of time on it. The “after” section is a different matter. It’s been written in the first draft, but will change dramatically in the edit as I made major changes when I edited Part 1. My parents read this story (as well as Whispering Caves) and my father couldn’t praise this story enough. He said it’s full of drama, twists and turns and was quite “suggestive”. I was a little embarrassed by that, but if he read the edited Part 1 I think he’d get a shock!

The original manuscript was written in the early 1990’s. In fact, this is the first manuscript I ever wrote. The major edit of Part 1 took place about five years ago. Now I think it’s time to finish Part 2.

Mirror Image

The first draft of this story was written in November 2007 during NaNoWriMo. This means the draft is really bad. I remember changing direction in the middle of sentences, so the edit of this project is going to be a big deal. Anyway, for personal reasons, I didn’t quite finish the manuscript, but there are only about 10,000 words to go.

This is a dark story (paranormal/horror). It sends out a clear message which I feel is important to tell, especially in this day and age when depression is ripe. For this reason, I want to finish this manuscript.

Suicide: A Mother’s Story

This will be another two part manuscript. One of those parts will be hard to write, but much easier than the other part. I realise now that I attempted this project too soon when I originally started planning it in 2006, but it’s another manuscript that needs to be written – for me, for parents, for teenagers.

Mid-Summer’s Day

It’s been fully planned for a couple of years. However, no writing has started. I will write this one day, but not yet. Why start another project when I have so many others that need my attention?

Out of the other four manuscripts on the list, I think only two will get my attention in the future. Then again, maybe none of them will progress. I may decide to ditch these for other ideas instead.

Now that I’m clear on which manuscripts still hold my interest, I have to decide which of them will be placed in the top spot. As I’ve said before, I’m a one manuscript at a time kind of girl, so only one will be chosen. Which one do you think it will be?

Previously, I’ve mainly written fantasy. I have manuscripts suitable for all ages. However, I specifically concentrated on children’s books – 8 to 12 years of age – over recent years. The only time I ventured into other genres were for short stories, although one of my first novel length manuscripts is romance (but even that has a fantasy setting).

In order to gauge where I’m heading, I have to know what I have to work with. Here’s a list of all my manuscripts, excluding short stories as I don’t intend to write them in the future.

Kingdom of Marlinor Trilogy
(fantasy for adults – needs planning as a trilogy and rewriting)

Book 1 – Whispering Caves
Book 2 – Windy Plains
Book 3 – Butterweed Fever

People of Miu Series
(fantasy for children aged 8 to 12 years – first two books written and edited; book 3 needs planning)

Book 1 – Cat’s Eyes
Book 2 – Cat’s Paws
Book 3 – Cat’s Whiskers

Stand Alone Manuscripts

Blood Red, White Fire (fantasy for young adults) – 22 chapters written of first draft

Isle of Cotti (romance for adults) – complete, 10 chapters rewritten in edit stage, second half needs replanning

Westmore Castle (fantasy for adults) – only four chapters written, needs complete planning and rewriting

The World of Jaishree (fantasy for young adults) – written as a short story that should have been a novel, needs replanning and rewriting

Mid-Summer’s Day (science fiction for adults) – fully planned, but not written

Sam & Arden (fantasy for young adults) – 4 chapters written, needs proper planning

Mirror Image (paranormal/horror for adults) – about 10,000 words of first draft left to write

Non-Fiction Manuscripts

Suicide: A Mother’s Story

Now that I know what manuscripts are in the system, I can decide what I intend to do from this point on. That, however, will be discussed in another post. Right now, I have some thinking to do.

In January 2006 I wrote a story for a competition in an Australian magazine. It didn’t win and now I’ve been rewriting the story for use in the upcoming Anthology publication.

The story has been completely revamped. I used the characters and the setting, but the plot took a lot of “bashing” and eventually changed altogether. The end result is a stronger plot, better characters and a world with a magical system. Yes, Mage Mustering (which was once called Guards’ Mustering) is the short story which caused my recent dilemma.

At the beginning of this week I set a personal goal: The story will be finished and edited by the end of this weekend.

Yesterday, being a public holiday due to the Apec meeting in Sydney, allowed me to turn my mind to writing in an aggressive way. I went to bed at my normal workday time on Thursday night, instead of staying up late as I usually do when I don’t have to worry about arriving at work with bleary eye sight. I set my alarm for 7.30am with the intention of sitting at the computer, all day if necessary, and getting the battle scene written.

By the time I had made a cup of tea – I honestly wouldn’t consider sitting at the computer without a cuppa, not first thing in the morning – and settled down to write it was 7.40am. I had a lot of trouble getting started and fought off the urge to play a game of pinball first. In the end, I bribed myself with the allowance of a well earned rest (with the promise of breakfast) after half an hour of writing. I thought that was fair.

I opened the file and forced myself to read the battle scene through from the beginning (yes, I made a few editing changes as I went) and then I started typing. Ten minutes later, or so I thought, my stomach grumbled and I looked at the clock and discovered that I had been typing for two hours – it was 9.45am – and the scene was finished.

Now that is what writing should always be like. It’s proof that I was so engrossed in what I was doing that I didn’t even know how much time had passed. I love it when that happens and wish it happened more often.

I have since gone through the entire story twice. I will edit it again this afternoon, but I think I can safely say Mage Mustering is done!

Last week I wrote about My Writing Future and a few days later I gave a Dilemma Update, and now I’m going to write about finding out what the real problem was.

For as long as I can remember I have always NOT enjoyed writing conflict/battle scenes. I tend to skip over the top of them when I read published novels, because I’m not interested in this part of the story. I suppose I want to skip over them when I’m writing too. However, I have written smaller – contained – fight scenes that don’t go on forever. I don’t particularly like them, but I manage. Where I have a problem is the conflict scenes that are on a much larger scale. You know the ones I mean – the Lord of the Rings or Magician type battles.

That narrowed things down for me a bit. It has nothing to do with genre, or what I had for breakfast, or my doubts about my writing…it has something to do with the actual battles in my stories. But what?

Then a friend asked me what magic my antagonist and protagonist could do. And then I was asked to describe that magic from a non-magical person’s point of view.

Excellent questions if he had asked someone who knew the answer. But he didn’t ask someone else, he asked me and he was referring to my story, which is something I should know ALL about. Right? Wrong!

Now we’re getting to the real problem. I don’t know anything…and I mean anything…about my world’s magical system. Is it any wonder I sit in front of the computer and play Minesweep or Pinball instead of writing? How can a writer weave their magic when they don’t know anything about magic? I’ve been writing long enough to know that it can’t be done. “Write what you know” means that if you haven’t done it personally, then research it until you can convince people you have. I’m a planner by nature, yet I completely pushed the details of this important scene to one side in the hope that it would write itself. And believe me…I waited for that to happen.

A simple question lead me to doing what I should have done before I started writing the short story…I researched magic. I built a magical system, I created attack and defence spells and I feel as if I can now tackle the scene because of it. In fact, the scene is three quarters written.

Here are some of the websites I visited in order to get me started in magic spells, systems, types, and how to put it all together. I hope you learn from them as much as I did.

The Rules of Matrin’s Magic by Holly Lisle – I think she’s talking about magic in one of her books, but it’s a good read for anyone wanting to use magic in their own story.

Tolkien, Fantasy and Magic by David Grubbs – This is talking about magic in the Tolkien series, but, again, it’s worth a read.

Spells of Dungeons & Dragons – Even though this one is written about Dungeons & Dragons, it will give you ideas about type of spells that your world might have.

The following is the reply I posted on my message board and writers’ email group. I’m posted it here too, for the same reason I posted A Writing Future? a few days ago – this is an important part of my writing journey and it needs documenting.

First off, I’d like to thank everyone for taking my dilemma seriously and offering advice. I truly do appreciate your time and suggestions. I’ve read all the suggestions/thoughts and I have put a lot of thought into what’s stopping me from writing.

I was asked privately how I would feel if I was faced with the prospect of never writing fantasy again. Admittedly, the question shocked me, but it also helped me put things in perspective.

If I were told that I could never write again, I’d be devastated. I know I would be defiant and I’d write anyway…in secret if I had to. I love writing. I want to write. And I will continue to write. So writing is not the issue.

If I were told that I could never write fantasy again, I’d be upset and probably a little angry. Given time, I would get used to the idea and I know I would find another genre to write in. Not writing fantasy would not end my world and I think, for a while, I believed that writing and fantasy came hand in hand. I couldn’t do one without the other. That is not the case, however, and I think I can see that now.

I have many unfinished projects. All of them have stopped where the major conflict starts. All of them only need a few chapters written in order to see those manuscripts finished (some of them only need a few pages written). All of them are not written in the fantasy genre, although a majority of them are. I understand now that fantasy isn’t my problem, writing conflict is.

I admit that I have a fear of failure and a fear of success. I believe the fear of success used to be the dominant one and that’s why I wanted to use a pen name. My thoughts were that if anything published by me was not well received I could hide behind the pen name and no one need know it was me (especially family and friends). At this time I also need to admit that I kept my writing a secret from the people closest to me. However, I believe that has since reverted to a fear of failure, because everyone now knows I’m writing. As a result, I guess that makes it impossible to hide, so now I fear failure.

Reading this, I wouldn’t be offended if you saw signs of “empty nest syndrome” – a reluctance to finish the project and let all those strangers see my work; or, not wanting to let go of something precious. It’s strange, but I know I can brush this aside without a moments thought. I want these projects finished and out there. How can I be published if they are sitting in a box in a spare room? I’d be pushing my fear of failure to the extreme by having empty nest syndrome too. No, it’s just not me.

My problem is a lack of confidence when I’m writing a conflict scene and maybe a lack of imagination too…if I’m totally honest. As a reader I often skip over the top of these scenes because I find them boring. As a writer I can’t skip over them and that annoys me. However, all stories have conflict of some sort. It doesn’t have to be a huge epic battle scene to put the brakes on, even a two paragraph push and shove gives me the shudders (although I find verbal battles are less stressful). I don’t like confrontation in real life and I guess I don’t want to face them in my stories either. Old habits and all that…

I’ve isolated the germ, now I have to find a cure. Unless I decide to write non-fiction, I’m going to have to face this hurdle in order to move on with my writing. Many of you have made worthwhile suggestions, so what am I going to do to help myself?

The one consistent suggestion was “practice”. On the positive side, I have a lot of work to practice on, but if I think in those terms I’m going to push my brain into overload as it’s too much too soon.

Someone suggested a ghost writer for these scenes. I drooled at the suggestion. Wouldn’t it be heaven to write all the good stuff and leave the conflict/battle to someone else? Yes! The person who suggested this also said that I probably would find that I’d have to edit the scene to make it fit in with my style and perhaps I’d learn from that experience. Maybe after three or four projects I’d feel more capable of writing the scenes myself. Whilst a part of me loves this idea, an equal part of me hates it too. Should the story be published, I would feel as if I’d cheated. I think I’d be embarrassed by the fact that I didn’t write the entire story myself.

Maybe I need a coach instead. A coach would guide me through the scene. I guess they would ask relevant questions to get me going and then coax me into writing a paragraph or two. They would go over the crud I’d write and suggest something stronger, better. Maybe it would build up from there. Maybe those questions that got me started would form a template for future conflict scenes. And maybe the coach would help me with a couple of my projects until I got the hang of it. I don’t really know how it would fall together, but the list of questions to help me get started is something I would definitely like to pursue.

One of you has already provided a list of questions. They are:

1) Whose POV will you be watching the scene through?
2) What is the outcome of the fight? Do several people die? Are some of the goodies/baddies badly injured/killed?
3) Are the goodies going to win?
4) What weapons are involved? Will your POV character have one already? Find one during the fight? Or manage to take the baddy’s?
5) Is there magic? Does the POV character have magic? Does another character have magic and so the POV may only see flashes of light or thunderous sounds?
6) Does it finish with action or dialogue?

Do you have anything else that you think should be included?

In conclusion, I know an extra effort from me is required. If I let a thing like this make me back away from writing, then I have no right in calling myself a writer in the first place. I want to learn how to write these scenes and I humbly request your help. I’m open to how that help is given.

In addition: I had many writing friends step forward and offer me help. The response was amazing and I’m grateful to everyone. One of those people is currently helping me through this scene. I’ve already learned a lot about myself as a writer, but that will be explained in another post…on another day.

This is a modified version of a post I wrote and submitted to two writing communities, where I asked for help. I never intended to include in here, but as I’m at a important crossroads in my writing, I feel it should be documented on my own website.

I have a dilemma and wish to ask your advice/opinions.

I read fantasy novels (young adult and adult). I rarely read other genres, but I am trying to force myself to in order to broaden my horizons.

I write fantasy – young adult and adult in the past, but more recently my target audience has been children (8 to 12 year olds).

Now for my dilemma: Lately, over the last couple of months, I’ve been feeling as if I’m actually writing in the wrong genre. I love fantasy. I love reading it. But that doesn’t mean I’m good at writing it. I hate fight scenes; always have. I’m not imaginative enough for the insertion of magic into my work and often avoid it. I feel pressured because of this and often find I don’t write because my stories should have these elements in them.

That made me start thinking that I’m writing in the wrong genre, but, many years ago I started writing a romance (not the Mills and Boon type, more general romance). The first ten chapters flew onto the page with no effort on my part, but as soon as I reached the part where the major conflict came into play…I stopped writing. I knew exactly what had to happen. I knew exactly how the story would end. But I stopped writing. So maybe it’s nothing to do with genre. I have several other unfinished manuscript because of this too; all of them have stopped where the conflict begins.

Now, I’m rewriting a fantasy short story. I know exactly what happens from beginning to end. I’ve even written the closing scene, with is where the planning actually started. The story was built on the ending. I have written the beginning, but now I’m at the climax and I’ve stopped writing. For heavens sake, I have probably two or three pages to write and the story is finished, but I simply don’t want to write it. I feel as if I can’t write it. I feel as if this is going to make me stop writing. I’m serious.

Someone suggested that I have “empty nest syndrome”, but I disagree with that. I want my stories to be finished. I crave for it. I just don’t like conflict scenes…and I often skip over them when I read books too. I don’t like them and I don’t want to write them. But all stories have them!

I’ve been borrowing and buying writing books and reading them through (partially, anyway). I’ve been writing posts that are meant to inspire (me more so than visitors to the site). I used to see the scenes in my mind, but I simply couldn’t write them. Now my mind gets to that section and skips over the top of it leaving me with a vague impression. I know I’m not interested in that section of the story. I keep telling myself just write the damn thing in point form if I have to and build on it later, but I can’t do it. I had intended to make it a public goal, but I can’t even force myself to do that. I spent all day (on and off) Sunday writing. I don’t have writer’s block. I just don’t want to write the scene. I really want to use a swear word about now. I feel so angry with myself.

Writers write; everyone else just talks about it. I wrote that on this blog. It was meant to be a guilt trip aimed at me, but even that didn’t work. I’m “everyone else” and that is not good enough.

The whole thing is starting to upset me. I love writing. I hate writing the major conflict. This is the section that most writers can’t wait to get to and love to write the most. Why am I shunning it? What can I do to get over this? Am I writing the wrong genre? Is there a place to learn to write these scenes and feel comfortable doing so? If I don’t do something soon, I think I’ll back away from writing altogether…or maybe just go back to writing excessively long manuscripts just for me. At least there was no pressure then.

Last week I made a public goal and called it A Four Day Plan. In other words, I gave myself four days to complete the items on the list. The plan included 1) finding a suitable publisher for Amulet of Kemet and then submitting the story, and, 2) to rewrite the ending of a short story called Guard’s Mustering.

Amulet of Kemet was submitted to a publisher on Friday.

Guard’s Mustering took more time. I spent most of Saturday afternoon and evening on the rewrite. Considering the small amount of writing I actually did, that turned out to be a long time, but I feel readers will be satisfied with the outcome; much more so than the previous ending anyway.

In other news, New South Wales has been experiencing a lot of rain in the past week or two. Being a drought region, we really need this rain and I’ve been told that the local dam has gone from 32% to around 45% full. This is great news. However, our waterways and drainage systems are not built to withstand large quantities of water all at once. The Central Coast found itself under water last week (I’ve seen photos where people are wading waist deep through the deluge) resulting in millions of dollars worth of damage to homes and property. Some people lost everything! It must have been devastating for them. About half of those people had no insurance, so I can only imagine what they are going through.

The rain subsided and the water receded. However, the drizzle has continued on and off every since. This afternoon/evening it is warned that fierce storms will be returning. Whilst the dams are filling and we need the water for that, we no longer want the water in torrents as we know there will be more damage and loss.

I live inland and most of the damage is on the coast, but that doesn’t mean we are safe. We have experienced flooding. The last time was just over a year ago. It is because of that experience (we lost a lot of personal belongings at the time) and the recent flooding on the Central Coast that I’ve decided to undertake a major task. I am going to dedicate July to scanning all my photos and all my parent’s photos. I’m talking about 70 years worth of photos and that’s a lot of work. This is going to be a huge job, but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for some time. I will also be doing this task because of my interest in my family tree. I feel it’s important to preserve these priceless items for future generations. It’s true, they may not care about what’s happening now, but maybe one person in the future will have the same interests I do and I’m going to do this for that person.

I went under the hood of Now Reading and worked out how to get rid of that solid disc beside the image. I also fixed the spacing and highlighted heading so that the page is easier, and more pleasant, to look at. The image in the sidebar is now centred so that looks better also. Making these changes was simple…once I worked out which documents to mess with. Of course, I did make copies first, just in case I ruined everything.

What else have I been doing? I’m so glad you asked.

Actually, the only things I’ve been doing in the past week or so is coding for this website and reading Illusion by Paula Volsky (I do love that story). However, I think it’s time for me to do something more. I have a week and a half left of part time work before I have a week of holidays. And then…I go back to work full time. (Karen tries to think positive thoughts to keep from getting depressed.)

My goals for the immediate future – let us say the next four days – is to get back into writing. Since the two recent submissions, I’ve fallen into a slump, but that has to end now (well, make that tomorrow).

Guards’ Mustering needs a new ending. I have edited the rest of the story and added a couple of extra scenes, but the end isn’t right. I’ve known the end was weak for some time, so I’ve had plenty of time to think about it and now I have to put those thoughts into words. This weekend will see that happen.

I also, and I’m ashamed to admit this, need to submit Amulet of Kemet to another market. I promised myself that I’d do this within a few days of the rejection, but to date, I’ve done nothing about that. The story needs no work; it’s just a matter of finding the right market. I will put that on my “to do” list for this Friday.

That means I’ve made two public goals for the next four days:

1. Write a new ending for Guards’ Mustering.
2. Submit Amulet of Kemet to an appropriate market.

I feel better already. There’s nothing like public goals to get the inspiration going.

With all the blood, sweat and stress that went into my anthology story a rejection was not what I had hoped for…but no writer hopes for a rejection, do they?

Yes, Amulet of Kemet was rejected.

However, the good news is that they enjoyed the story a lot, and I have been asked if I want my name included on the list for the next “invitation only” anthology. Well, let me think about that for a moment…OK, you twisted my arm.

When I submitted the story I wrote a post saying that at the very least I wanted the editors to hold my story in high enough regard that they would remember me the next time they were thinking of putting an anthology together. Although I’m sad that my story was rejected, I’m happy my story didn’t turn the editors off me forever.

Amulet of Kemet will be submitted elsewhere within a few days.